January 2011
12 posts
3 tags
TATTOOS
LUV - Here is what tattoos say about a person: A) I refuse to acknowledge that I will one day be old. I would only ever admit this on the internet (a part of the world inaccessible to my mother) but ma was right - my tattoos are going to look shit when I’m old. Show me an old person who looks good with tattoos, and I will show you a unicorn. They are similarly easy to come by. However,...
3 tags
CASUAL SEX
LUV - Mmmm, casual sex. Sex, but casual. Sex, but without having to look like you care. Sex, but without any of the boring pre- or post-amble. Hooray for it.
It’s not for everyone, obviously. But with a bit of practice, a casual approach to copulation can allow you to get a hell of a lot of things done. As well as a hell of a lot of people! LOL.
Have you ever had sex while leaning...
3 tags
KARAOKE
LUV - When the caveman who invented human song did so - and, let’s face it, probably got into the loincloth of some cavewench as a result - nobody turned around and went, “Ug! That’s shit! Never ugging do that again!”
No. It caught on, big time. And humans have been singing ever since. The word “karaoke” evokes pubs with sticky floors and over-earnest,...
6 tags
FUTURISTIC BIDET TOILETS
LUV - Very soon it’ll be the sixth anniversary of my return from Seoul, where I lived between 2003 and 2005. And while I’ve settled back into UK life nicely, sometimes I do get a little nostalgic about the old place.
Why? Is it the food? Not really. The people? Perhaps. The fact that I got to spend two formative years getting paid to lark around with no real responsibilities?...
4 tags
DOTCOMS
LUV - Dotcoms are great, aren’t they? So tidy. And I don’t mean that in the street sense of “your boss new gangsta trainers is well tidy, blud”. I mean that a dotcom address is more compact and bijou than an address like, say: http://~l33tm0f0.underpants.3290354&o-goatee.soulpatch.geocities.net.biz.wurg You know? Dotcoms. I like them because they’re neat. - Robyn Wilder
HAT - Oh,...
4 tags
IKEA
LUV - Oh god, I love IKEA. It’s like actual proper furniture you can buy in Heal’s or Habitat but, because the frames are made of packed sawdust, and the pillows are stuffed with foam, and because you have to make all the furniture yourself, it’s about 30% cheaper than Heal’s and Habitat! It’s like a dream! Here are five additional reasons to love IKEA: 1. There is a chair called Robin. It’s...
4 tags
OPERA
LUV - I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know an awful lot about opera. This is because I went to - at the time - the 63rd worst school in the country and therefore didn’t get to properly study music. I worked on a market stall instead of at a theatre. My dad mainly listened to Roxy Music. I’m not nearly enough of a dick to actually know any opera singers.
However,...
13 tags
DUBSTEP
LUV - Dubstep has been gradually WOM-WOM-WOM-WOMWOMWOMMING-ing its way towards the mainstream for the last couple of years, but since Britney’s gone and sprinkled her new single with it, now’s a good time to show it some LUV.
Obviously, we’re not talking about the melody-free nonsense played by intimidating perma-hooded purists. That stuff’s as fun as a...
5 tags
DANIEL CRAIG AS JAMES BOND
LUV - There are many reasons to love Daniel Craig’s James Bond. The fact that he’s not Timothy Dalton. That he looks like he might actually kill you, is half-Golem or will grow up to be an evil John Thaw.
But these are just so many words. What use are words when a picture like this will suffice?
Daniel Craig. James Bond. Speedos. Et voila. - Robyn Wilder
HAT - I watched Die...
3 tags
MICHAEL CERA
LUV - Oh, go easy on him. Admittedly I’ve never been able to manage an entire Michael Cera film in one go - except for Juno, actually, although that might be because I was paralysed with piss-boiling rage after about three seconds of listening to Ellen Page call people ‘homeskillet’ again and again just to prove how adorable and alternative she is and OH GOD WHY WON’T...
3 tags
SOLAR ECLIPSES
LUV - Solar eclipses have a lot to answer for. Because of them, bearded wingnuts have spent thousands of years convincing themselves that life has an undiscovered yet profoundly universal meaning, when in reality it’s all just down to a fluke of scale and distance and nothing happens when you die and none of it even matters anyway so shut up.
Also, thanks to solar eclipses, 42-year-old...
3 tags
2011
LUV - Happy new year, youse guyses! Boy, it’s been a bloody bumdinger for me so far. This is why: I bought a big-ass TV in the sales.
This would be enough for the last couple of days to have been the best in living memory. But what I didn’t realise when I nervously shelled out for this “bit of kit” is that it comes with LoveFilm installed within its beautiful electric...
