December 2010
10 posts
10 tags
* CHRISTMAS DAY SPECIAL *
You suggested them, we argued over them. For Christmas, like:
“YOUR FUCKING IPHONE”
LUV - Oh, don’t be hating on my fucking iPhone. It’s brilliant. Maps and films and music and games, all in the palm of my hand. I had to walk home from a train station I’d never even been to recently. I only got home because my iPhone gave me directions. Plus, brilliantly, it’s...
7 tags
* CHRISTMAS SPECIAL #5 *
You suggested them, we argued over them. For Christmas, like:
MAYONNAISE
LUV - Mayonnaise is a marvellous way to add moisture to a sandwich without overpowering it with anything annoying, like flavour. It hardly tastes of anything, really, which is why it buh-lows my mind that people can be so “I SAID NO MAYO!!! WAAAHHH!” about it.
Plus, unless I die in the morning, the jar in my...
7 tags
* CHRISTMAS SPECIAL #4 *
You suggested them, we argued over them. For Christmas, like:
BAD MOODS
LUV - I’m actually not often in a bad mood. It’s usually only reserved for when I’m around people or any form of inanimate object. I’ve cursed at my dishwasher like a bad father before. I’ve called my computer a prick more times than I could possibly count. Yesterday my girlfriend walked in on...
8 tags
* CHRISTMAS SPECIAL #3 *
You suggested them, we argued over them. For Christmas, like:
LADIES NIGHT
LUV - I’ve never actually been to a ladies’ night, but I HAVE been a) in the sweaty lecherous bowels of the London Hippodrome on a Saturday night (not by choice) and b) to an Ann Summers party (by tentative choice and, later, great regret). I imagine ladies’ night is some hideous mid-point between the two. HOWEVER. The...
7 tags
* CHRISTMAS SPECIAL #2 *
You suggested them, we argued over them. For Christmas, like:
CHRISTMAS SHOPPING
LUV - It’s OK, the internet exists now. I think that I did about 95% of my Christmas shopping this year slumped in front of my computer in my pants. The remaining five percent I did in actual shops in one go - out of tradition with my little brother - and it was hellish. The people. The indecision. The fact that...
8 tags
* CHRISTMAS SPECIAL #1 *
You suggested them, we argued over them. For Christmas, like:
SOUTH LONDON
LUV - South London is better than North London because nobody knows where it stops. Greenwich used to be in Kent. I’ve been to Charlton Athletic matches full of advertising for Kent newspapers. I don’t even know if I live in South London or not. People in Kent think I live in London. People in London think I live in...
3 tags
DATING
LUV - I’ve never actually been on a date so all my knowledge on the subject is from TEH FILUMS. And, let me tell you, to someone like me – whose relationships have all been slow-burn and/or stoned hookups – dating sounds impossibly fabulous. First you have to ask someone on a date which, if I have this right, you must do either in a crowded open-plan office, or a crowded high school corridor in...
4 tags
ZOMBIES
LUV - Vampires and werewolves aren’t fun any more, are they? Not since fucking Twilight decided that they’d be better if they were all played by Justin Bieber’s nipples. It’s not like the good old days, when vampires were either 007-slick aristocrats or sexy Italian women who kept getting off with each other a lot with their tops off. God, I miss that.
Anyway, at least...
3 tags
GLEE
LUV - Look, I know there’s a lot to complain about with Glee (obvious plots; hamfisted attempts at parodying its own hamfisted attempts at representing diversity; confusing witty dialogue with peoplejusttalkingveryquickly; the fact that Mr Shue looks like a foot), but I really don’t get why everyone gets so worked up about it. I mean, it’s a television programme, not a series of atrocities...
4 tags
LATTES
LUV: I realise this may come across a bit London Media Ponce, but my daily latte is one of life’s great joys. I look forward to each one, genuinely feel sad when I reach the dregs of my paper cup, and am currently experiencing actual pangs of anxiety that I may not, in writing this, do my utter passion for lattes justice. Or maybe that’s the caffeine. I’m drinking a latte as I...
